how long has it been?

a month and 2 days.. to some people it'll feel like a short time.. but to me it felt like time was torturing me.. slowly.. im so glad in just a weeks time i'll be with her.. my frens tell me why.. why is ure blog all about sheila.. its not easy forgetting someone u love so much.. imagine a year.. of seeing each other everyday without fail.. and suddenly she leaves on such a short notice.. it felt like smth inside u ripped apart.. she was my life for that whole year.. i've never been so much happier.. ^_^ im just so happy there's only a week left.. and i get ta see her.. so.. guys.. gals.. don take ure loved ones fer granted.. never do.. cherish every moment ya have.. once u get into this position.. ull feel much worse trust me.. people who are doing long distance would know wad im going thru.. ;) down to this ppl.. life makes sense only when u have found that reason fer living for.. ive thought about so much stuff.. and only now i realize.. there are so many reasons for living.. but this world isnt just all nice and cute.. it also has its cruel bitter sweet sides.. i never know.. things can change in a click of a finger.. hope for the best.. expect the worst..

looking forward to..

-going to KL in a few days time ta see sheila..
-finding stuff to to in KL with sheila..
-Rainforest in July..
-sheila comin back in July..
-going crazy at rainforest..
-sleep every night..
-going out with my frens..
-when i get my salary..
-get sheila back in kch for quite some time..
-doing smth like.. opening a business..
-getting myself a good nice sexy body.. lols..

gRAhh.. cant think of anything else actually.. im just really really bored.. i cant find anything else to do at night ere.. wells.. chatting nows.. buh bye..

bLoggiNg...

well.. i din have the motivation to blog until sheila left.. and.. since then.. i try to put into detail what i do and everything in my blogs.. see how life changes.. see what's really going on in my life.. well.. i find other people's blog more way interesting than mine.. for example kenny sia's or xiaxue's.. its not fair.. they got to be paid to blog.. oh oh.. pings blog is also interesting.. wells.. coz

i wanna know whats going on in her life and everything.. of course it is.. =D

One thing about kenny Sia's blogs is it always makes me laugh.. and it has that malaysian accent to it.. how he lives his life is not very different from how we live ours.. coz sometimes we go thru the same thing he does.. thats why i find it interesting.. but whoAa.. being him can get u to take photos with lots of hotties.. but yeah.. with his size maybe their just using him to be on his website.. LoLs..

Found this on google.. the girls name seems to be janice.. lols.. check out kenny.. and how of a piggy he looks..

And Then there was Wendy Cheng Aka Xiaxue.. her blogs were usually interesting coz of outings which we dont usually go thru.. u get to see a life of a singaporean girl.. and shes quite straightforward.. when shes angry.. whoo.. she'll jus KaPow u on her blog.. no mercy kinda like creature this wendy.. yeah.. lols.. but she's a chick.. without makeup.. i dunno but she looks somewhat like.. an opposite of a chick? lols..

she does look alright..? doesnt she..

Another BLOGGER.. whom i know very well.. lols.. well.. i think ya'll know her.. cute babyPings..

guess she's the only reason im livin at the MO~

oh.. i feel bad...

on the way from steve's house to t1.. i was driving bout 80/Mph... passing ong tiang swee.. and not long b4 i realised the dog.. running from right to left.. annen it stopped all of a sudden.. and WhAmM!! i looked back the dog was still sliding on the floor.. omg.. its the third animal i killed.. with my car.. sighs.. pity la.. i was like oh shit.. steeve was like.. WAHH oh shit.. he expression was priceless.. but thinkin why that dog had to stop.. i couldnt brake in time.. and i hit it so hard that my bumper had 2 dents.. and some marks on it.. sighs.. luckily i could push back the dent.. im sorry.. doggy.. din mean to.. purely accidental..

The Cutest SweeTest i've Ever Seen...

I Just Had to put this on my blog.. coz whenever i look at this pic.. a warm comforting feeling builds inside me.. smth like when u see a beach full of fresh sand.. with beautiful waves.. ohh.... misses u to the maximum.. but this pic of sheila sleeping.. just brings a unexplainable feeling.. well.. to me it's the cutest Sweetest baby i've ever seen...

WhEre wAS JacK?~!

I waS hoping to see jack.. At grappa.. surrounded with FrEns and BooZe.. so.. i went in.. out.. went to soho.. looked everywhere like a kid lookin for his/her mummy.. and to my frustration... couldn't find jack anywhere? where'd he go.. luckily chiang came soon after.. and so we tried lookin for him.. in the end we gave up.. sat down and thought about what to do..

Jack.. how could u.. we came for u.. u left us..

so we walked to bings.. thinkin u might be there.. nopes.. passed zhen how.. thought u might be there.. nopes.. ahh fark it.. off to MCD we go.. =D

what to Order?~

MmMmmCcDdddDdDDD...

We tapAu and went to sTeveY's House to eat.. play dota and watch tv.. ohh.. what a past time.. Hee Hee~

As We Go On...

We remember.. all the times we... spent together.. and as our lives change.. from whatever... we will still be... friends forever.. AHhAH.. sometimes singing makes u have a reason for living.. well.. last 2 night ago.. was a happy farewell for someone special.. no.. it wasn't sad.. it was damn happy.. our deeply beloved uncle francis.. who was only in our cat city for 6 weeks.. and wad a damn lovely uncle he has been to me as well jack.. AHha.. well.. we were at grappa.. and.. for some ppl.. it was chaos and turmoil.. here are some pics..

Our beloved Uncle Francis... never looked so Good..

Steve and me.. he drank well that night.. no puking whatsoever..

Jackson.. Rasa Best with his pose.. AmeLia.. Dun worry.. he's always fine with me..

Az looking innocently cute.. GAY!! haha.. no la.. jk...

Our man of The NigHT~ WonG WuN chIAng.. AHhah.. Totally Wiped OuT~

WeLL.. it all started with jack.. askin us both to buy some drinks.. ok.. chiang and I daringly went to order Lamborghini.. it took them quite a while to light the damn drink.. but we both downed it quickly.. and WHoOooo.. stomach was burning.. felt like acid was bout to dissolve thru our stomach walls.. LoLs~

A few Mins later.. Chiang was totally.. GonE.. NAda.. Zipp.. vomited uncountlessly.. AHHAha

In All rememberance of Francis.. we would Never forget you..

So.. Never forget Us.. Good Luck in Nz.. Keep in touch k.. =D

And As Fer Me.. i Will always be missing u sheila.. next to me is where u belong.. not Nilai.. happiness for me comes from you.. Missing u always.. too much.. GraHHH!!!

IM oFF to GrapPa again.. ChiAo.. hope u enjoy the pics everyone..

GuEss Who's bAcK~

WeLcome Back cHiAng.. nice to have someone i know back in town.. long holiday again.. sighs.. gf here again.. sighs.. makes me think about my only one.. who ever thought she would suddenly leave.. need her as much as ever... oh and.. WeLcome bAck Zian.. thanks for the present.. it helps alot.. ^_^

Last few days as usual.. morn work.. night t1.. since a year a played ball.. can't shoot for a million bucks anymore.. needs practice again.. played abit of footie as well.. nth much la.. bored to crap ere.. need smth new to do.. wait fer the spring.. i think ill be there everyday.. lookin for stuff to eat and chew.. no.. im not there to look at girls.. only one girl has caught my eye.. u know who u are.. boo hoo.. damn sien.. just came back from steve's house.. wanna sleep already just typing..

hmmm.. i lost count.. when am i going to KL already.. well.. a few more days.. n ill be there with her in no time..

FRANCIS.. oh no my uncle FrAnCis.. jack's uncle la.. not mine.. ure leaving on thursday.. a celebration shall be held.. for knowing u since 6 weeks ago... ure the man.. Dr francis.. ill be needin u to stitch my lungs together... hopefully technology will allow it then.. sad to have a fren go.. as always.. ppl come ppl go.. but ure a fren i'll remember..

n to all those who read my blog.. ta Ta~

LalalAla

ive become so numb.. oh sorry.. listening to the song.. hehehe.. wells.. how ya'll doing.. hope ure love life is as smooth as a babies bottom.. no rough edges like an old granny's... i mean.. putting it in a way la.. not saying that i like babies asses or granny's asses...but omg.. sheila has unpurified my mind by makin me read a gay couples blog.. its so.. not that is wrong but in a straight guys point of view.. its wrong.. its just out of my mind.. nothing makes me gelik more than just seeing two guys humping walls together.. here i go again.. im just saying that 2 guys hump walls so i dun say 2 guys hump each other.. oMg... enough... i haf nth else to write about.. eww.. ew...

Choice~

choice~ i can choose to become who i want to become.. there is always a choice.. people can change a person from good to bad.. bad to good.. life is full of suffering.. pain... life cannot always make u happy.. u try to be happy.. try to hide behind ure frens.. hide behind in ure room.. ull always feel that sick shit fucked up feeling.. u can't hide from it.. emptyness... pain.. hatred.. guilt.. shit fucked up feelings... always linger around... when someone gives u pain.. u get hurt.. when u get hurt.. u cry.. when u get too much pain.. things start to get a lil fucked upp... things cant always be right the way u want it.. it never will be...

My BaDdd~~

sorry i haven't been updating daily.. nth to writes about.. running out of things to write.. well.. the last few days have been somewhat a bore... but also somethin new.. went to watch poseidon a few days ago.. was quite a nice intense show.. but alot unrealstic events.. like them holding their breath for damn long and that kinda shit.. i've been hanging around bryan's place for the almost the whole of wesak day... saturday was my off day.. so i stayed at home the whole time and slept.. went t1 abit.. with jack.. Sunday today.. it's mothers day.. omg.. i really forgot to wish my mum happy mother's day.. i was getting ready fer work and as usual i was late already.. so it didnt come to my mind... instead of wishing my mum first.. i wished sheila's mum happy mother's day.. she was happy at least her son in law wished her first.. she told me sheila and dick haven't yet.. and zoe is still young.. LoLs.. kolien... but i told her not to worry.. coz i know sheila will wish her.. wells.. ntg's much lei.. bored in work.. wanna do smth... but nth to do... sheila in Nilai.. i think all my frens are pigs and still sleeping.. GrRrrR.. k.. chiIaoOo.. for any mother's who read my blog.. hApPy MotHer's Day.. enjoy a day with ure family..

right?~

hello again.. sighs... who's been extremely motivated lately? motivated to do ure work.. motivated to study.. if u are.. please tell me how u guys do it.. i need motivation.. everyday.. i go to the office.. oh no.. another day... another day.. where is my motivation..? she's gone.. nothing pushes me to wake up in the morning.. nothing pushes me to walk that extra mile.. i find that something is bothering me.. like a fly squimmering about... its somewhat annoying.. everytime i wake up being empty inside.. that emptyness every morning feels like its eating me up whole.. something that surprises me is that im still walking.. im still talking.. i thought that i would be too depressed once she left to even lift a finger.. but i was wrong... altho im going over to see her in a few weeks.. ok.. after that.. would i be happy? motivated to work harder and go over to see her again.. i dunno.. i really dunno.. i guess time will tell.. well.. sorry my blog is all boring and 90% bout this girl.. why is this girl so special.. sherman will u shut up bout this girl already.. well.. really becoz in the past year.. she's been filling my life with joy and happiness... life was meaningful... after she left, ok.. we both couldn't do anything bout it.. it was fate.. maybe God wants me to learn to be happy without her.. that's the thing... HOW?! well i will find out.. my goal is to find out.. i know t1 aint gonna make happy everyday and night.. lols.. its a past time.. ok.. enuf.. im filling my blog with rubbish.. Byee ppl..

I sTill NeeD YoU~

Through the dark times when i lose my mind.. thinkin of you till the BreaK of dawn.. nothing can compare to the time when u were here in my arms.. almost everyday.. almost every night.. thru the good and bad times we had.. im sorry that i've ever hurt u or disappointed you.. NoW ure In NilAi.. anD im Still Here.. callIn u day by day.. just to mAke sUre.. that ure Ok.. and HaVin to live with you.. being so far away.. is heartbreaKin.. but ure always still a heartbeat Away.. I StiLL neeD yOu~

MiSsing ure LauGhter..

MissIng Ure SmiLes~

BuT mOst oF all... MissiNG u Here With Me~

I miSs~ / I HAtE! / I LoVe^

its been a normal routine fer me everyday just to go work in the morning.. and at night go to t1 kill time and try forget bout sheila.. but after t1.. that's where i start to feel.. sighs.. its not helping.. here are some things i miSs, haTe, And LovE~

I MiSS~~

* LodGe.. i dunno why.. but really Lodge is where i met most of the guys..
* siMes.. he's been a long time fren.. AlWays Ask me fer burgers.. GiVin me advice..
* PlAnEt.. our second home.. now its T1.. coz heNgky is GOne..
* Mr Lim and His MOustachE... how we always tease him bout shaving it...
* SheiLa Back Here.. always accompanying me when im bored.. my SouLmaTe... =D
* My LimkokWing Frens.. how we'd stay up late at night to do our assignments last min..
* ChiANg.. and his stupidity.. always gets me laughing..
* CaReY.. annzian anD I.. where we used to hangout and i having to find a way home..
* Where We Used to always Jam and damn it feels good..
* Pickin up sheIla.. whenever we both were free..
* Lookin For Stuff to do but in the end doing nth..
* fooTball In schooL.. running down after/during class just to get a goal..
* lots of frens who were from international..
* All The Guys and Gals wHo went overseas to study.. miss u guys alot..

I HaTe~

* i Hate Sheila so much sometimes i wanna pluck her eye ouT.. badly.. she forgot who the ferrero roChers were from when i gave it to her at the airport.. and she din even mention about me in her blog as much as i do.. LOL!
* Drivers who are damn pu Boh and like to Cut to My Lane...
* PonDans on the roAds..
* My bAd Connection sometimes..
* WakIn up damN earlY for nothing..
* It when Im BoRed..
* PpL who talk behind backs..
* It when peopLe fart and Dont say safety..
* SHeIla again for always not replyin me online fast enuf or dont even bother replying me..
* AnnZian when he's damn mooDy.. Stay aWAy..
* the Person who ScRatched the side of my car front to back.. hope ure car one day kenak bomb.
* Mdm ArMStROng.. for always talking shit to me..

I lOvE~

* SheIla When she's in a damn SUper gooD mood..
* my frens.. simes.. chiang.. sTeve.. Jack.. AnnZian.. BrYan h^nG.. LiONel.. BaRnEy OnG.. CAreY.. SeaN WonG.. BrAndOn SiA.. lIMKowiNg BuddIEs.. SiB FrenS.. EbC FrEns.. AnyONe i've MIssed Out.. i'm vEry SorRy..
* AnnzIAn when He's DamN geneRous..
* My faMIlY..
* My caR..
* Dota When im OWnIng..
* GoD..
* SheiLa MOst of all.. for her loVing Me so much...

And The list goes on...

as it is..

WOoO hoOOo.. back with connection again... cant say how happy i am to have connection at home again... its like whenever ure bored u go online.. when u got nth to do u go online.. when u wanna chat with ure someone u go online..

I took this picture in my car.. when i was with sheila.. it simply just catches my heart whenever i look at it.. it was at the simpang tiga traffic light.. reminds me of the memories when sheila was still here in kCh..
SomEtimes i wondered how life would be like without the person with ure with now.. it'll be so much different.. how different.. well.. ALOT! and i have no regrets or whatsoever being with the one and only.. QuEen ShEeRah.. life changes every time u make a decision.. decisions decisions.. it creates a path to something new.. somewhere new.. so even sometimes u take the wrong path.. nvm.. u learn from it.. and try not to walk that path again..

WeLLs.. as we all know life goes on.. obstacles will always block our path.. and we always find a way round it or over it.. jus remember to make the right decision in life and dont regret it..

Impossible Missions?!~

Well.. at least last night i had something to occupy my mind with.. it was damn packed even on a thursday night.. imagine this weekend.. GrRrrr.. at least our seats were in row J, which was in the middle of the middle.. good la HEHE.. i went with my two T1/Swinburne frens.. Ah Sing.. and Ah Paul.. those 2 like watching movies so might as well... well.. it really is a movie worth watching.. if u guys have watched the previous MI's.. u'd expect more outta this MI3.. for those of u who've watched it.. u've gotta give at least an 8/10 right.. come on... it's action packed right from the beginning..so many twists and turns... im not gonna tell the story and give it away like some ppl do.. u've really gotta watch it... YaW~

i somehow like the match striking bit.. very hot~ but wait.. the movie didn't come out today? it came out last wednesday...

Lonely? anyone?

I feel like a sad teddy... anyone would care to join me in a group hug? i miss having group hugs.. i have to survive this whole week alone.. my frens leaving me for holidays.. my darling left me for studies.. im all alone.. somehow i think i'm lookin like this at the moment... JACK!!! ANNZIAN!! SHEILA!!! WHY?!?!~~
oh.. i forgot there was stevey.. and bryan.. but i dont see them everyday.. :( they've got their own stuff to do.. but while im all alone i might as well be alone..

Lonely.. i am so lonely.. i have nobody... for my own..........................

sad days and more sad days to come.. when is it ever going to end.. oh i know.. june.. :D

Yay sime and chiang comin back soon.. can go look for them.. get group hug~ =D

GRrrRrrrR...

damn pek chek.. damn farked up.. i hate lightning... i swear.. i seriously hate lightning to hell.. scewed up my modem when i needed it the most.. at least another time la.. why now.. farks.. i don believe it.. its like so many situations u dont want to happen all happen at once.. even tho i can come ere to t1 to go online and its close.. yeah i dun mind that.. but sighs.. having to buy a new modem.. spend money.. while ure trying to save.. just farks up everything.. sighs.. sorry for my complaining entry.. really pissed.. at dunno what also.. lightning?! can i blame lightning? i know it happens.. it happened to me before.. but sighs.. again and at this critical moment.. sighs.. gonna play some dota to get my mind off this.. chiAo~

missing yew...

Its been three days... three days damn it.. im like a sick puppy without its mother.. come on am i that weak.. dont i have balls? well.. maybe for the moment i dont.. :( sadly... life is going stale for me.. losing it's colour.. bitterness starts to sink in whenever i realise ure not by my side anymore.. id rather be alone if im not with you.. my mum's nagging is like a mosquitoes wings.. some songs which i listen on the radio that reminds me of you makes me wanna cry.. food doesnt taste as nice anymore.. laksa is no longer in my mind.. everything is so wrong?! Time and money are the things holding me back.. the time when i see you again would be the happiest moment for me... for now i'll just continue with life as it is.. you give me hope everyday.. im always here thinkin of you.. missing yew.. lookin at your picture coz its all i got..